I Need a Confession
When I was only 7 years old, I didn’t have any problem to deal with me. My skin didn’t have any scar. I got mosquito bites on my skin, but it didn’t even left a single scar. Until one day, I was eating my dinner, I saw my mom’s friends.
They came over to celebrate my mom, because my mom is having a new baby. I really liked my mom’s friends. I was sitting on a high chair until I saw them. I suddenly jump down from it, because I was so excited for the party. I was screaming and yelling after that. My chin was damage because I fell off the chair to the ground. It was felt like I was falling from a 50 feet down from a cliff in one second. I was really scared so I thought someone forced me to drink something, and then later I fell as sleep for a long time. When I woke up, I saw a place that had people wearing white coats. I guess they’re doctors.
“Where am I, mom?” I asked my mom curiously.
“You’re in the hospital. I was so scared. I thought something is going to happen to you.” she said worriedly.
I guessed my mom was really worried, I felt sorry for her. I saw some tears were left on her eyes. The doctors said I already had 3 stitches in my chin and it won’t hurt a lot, so I felt more comfortable.
A week later, I saw my mom was having a bad mood. Her face didn’t have a smile like she had before.
I came toward her and asked,” Mom, why do you look so sad?”
She said calmly, “I’m fine, sweetie. You don’t have to worry about me.”
Her answer made me worrier, but my cousin came over and told me to play with her. Later, I went to play with her and forgot about it, but somehow it was still in my head. I came home and heard my parents were talking about something. They said that my mom was miscarried our new baby. I was shocked and standing there freezing. I felt sorry more than ever and I thought I won’t have a little sister again. I can’t sleep that night and thought to myself that is there a reason behind this? I tried to let it go, but then I felt my chin hurt a little. Suddenly, I thought my chin was the reason that my mom lost the baby. I felt some tears were falling from my face. I tried to forget it and wished that it wasn’t the reason and it was all a dream.
I woke up in the morning and it felt like nothing happened. Everyone was normal and they even gave me the best of their smiles. My mom also gave me her bright smile but after I walked by her bright smile was gone. I knew that they were pretending and of course it must be sad, because we all lost a family member. I wanted to cry again and I’m not sure am I the reason that make my mom miscarried the baby? Did she worry too much for me and forget the baby? My mom didn’t want to answer those questions, so they keep being in my head for 5 years. Sometimes, I still ask myself about that thing, but I never can answer them. Why can’t my mom just tell me the truth, then I would be more comfortable and forget about it, so I can have a wonderful life? I wanted her to tell the truth, but when I bring the story up, her smile won’t be there again, so I tried not to talk about it. But, it left a mystery in my head and my heart for a long period of time.
